That's intense
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
