I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
