Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
