You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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