I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize