Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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