"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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