There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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