Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
