We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
