Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
