how can u be prego again
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
