I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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