you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
