Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
