next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
