is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
