it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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