I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize