I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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