Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
