He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
