No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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