i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
