I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
