I want to stick my p in your. b.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
