The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
