I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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