Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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