I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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