The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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