community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
