Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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