I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize