i just wanna soil my oats bro
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
