he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
