One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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