You were right. It hurts to walk today.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She's the barista slut.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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