I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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