Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize