It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
