You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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