so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
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