just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
