new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
