He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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