i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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