Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
