So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize