Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
