So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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