hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
