Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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