what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
