at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
