i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
