My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
