I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
