My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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