He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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