It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
