Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize